30 April 2011

.

i would wear these forever if they weren't so damn expensive. i have LOVED them, and they made me stop biting my nails. don't ask me why regular nail polish didn't have the same effect on me. your guess is as good as mine.

yesterday mackenzie turned 22. we went roller skating, bought jellies that smell like childhood memories, drank tequila and SQUIRT, and had sing-a-longs until 3 in the morning. we embraced our youth and it was perfect and fitting. 
i adore this woman.
(circa 18 years old)

in other news, i'm almost done with my undergraduate career. i have one paper, one take-home final, and a biology final left and this whole phase of life is over. i have been extremely up and down with this phase. one moment i'm elated, the next moment i'm crying and feeling aimless. i guess i'm experiencing premature post-grad woes. i'm sure there are many more transition posts to come. but for now, i'm feeling good about all of it. 

I've had these songs on repeat as of this past week:
Van Morrison- Brown Eyed Girl
Ben E. King- Stand By Me
The Proclaimers- I'm Gonna Be
Stealer's Wheel- Stuck in the Middle with You
Billy Joel- Only the Good Die Young
Brandi Carlisle- Have You Ever
A.C. Newman- Prophets
Labi Siffre- Bless the Telephone

It's all slightly random but it's been keeping me comforted and refreshed. 

i'd be happy to move here post-graduation.




28 April 2011

magna cum queef

the goodbyes and the "last everythings" and turning in this key and that key and thank you letters and excitement and dread and disbelief all in one. here goes another giant transition.

love this



Hmmm


Which one are you?

24 April 2011

petri and ducky


officially (the vital word here) three months with this beautiful boy. i am thankful for our moments and our laughter and our love. i am very in love.

resurrection

and today i meditate on grace and sacrificial love and renewal, through which christ portrayed in its most perfect form. i prayerfully and joyfully embrace what it means to live, and am thankful for this gift of life that i have been given.


23 April 2011

the proof is in tha puddin

it dawned on me the other day that i have faith. i have faith that i have faith. that faith lies in multiple things that i don't feel the need to explain. but, after years of trying to find a calculated way to attain faith, which then led to me giving up completely... suddenly, it's something i just possess. proof that sometimes it is something you just have wait for; something you have to allow to gradually manifest itself in you (for those of us who have yet to witness a bible-style miracle.) this is exciting to me. i never want to stop growing.

14 April 2011

your love

Today on the way to work, I was thinking about that phrase that I feel as though I've heard alot: "No one can love you enough for you to love yourself." And though I love this in idea, and think that to some degree this may be true, I can't help but challenge it based on my own experience. Sometimes, it is those certain people in your life continuously showing you that you are worth being loved; unconditionally, without abandon, and persistently, that ultimately help us learn to love ourselves. Sure, there are a lot of fucked up things that this world as a whole tries to tell us. So, to give the world complete credence might just as well leave us feeling worthless. (ie: sexism) However, it is those special individual relationships that cross the barriers of society's whisper and show me on an intimate level that I can be loved. And not only that, I am worth it. To some one. To some few. And for this, I thank my mom and my dad. I thank them for loving me unconditionally through the disrespect and the disagreements. I thank my House of Love women and man, that have truly seen me at my worst; for being there through the tears and the shame and the disapointments, and reminding me that I am still powerful and brave. I thank Tim, for fighting for me when I had lost hope that anyone fought for anyone anymore. All of you, have helped me learn how to love myself.

10 April 2011

just the right lighting

there is something about napping in summer sunset sunbeams that makes me feel beautiful and blissful.

09 April 2011

cowardly lion

I WANT TO MOVE TO NEW YORK WHERE ANYTHING GOES WITH FASHION AND ITS NORMAL TO DRESS UP. or i just want the courage to wear anything and everything i want, here.


03 April 2011

dreaming

all i want to do is read classics and smutty romance novels and exercise and suntan and have quality me time and quality you time and take day trips. summer, come faster.