Although I am prone to believe in social constructionism/constructivism, talking to Lauren and having the capacity to love convinces me that there have to be some innate things within each and every one of us; innate character traits that we were destined to have, regardless of our social environment.
This is the stuff that makes me think God exists. I'm not convinced of much else, but I am open. Instead of ravenously seeking like I used to, I've been practicing "just being." If I don't have the capacity for faith right now, then I just don't. I trust that if I am supposed to, this ability to believe in certain things will hit me. And I'll know then that none of it was forced, and that it is the way things are supposed to be. All of that to say, I believe that everyone has the capability for good. And that everyone has the capacity to love. There are moments when these two things convince me that these then must be qualities of said higher power. And in these moments I feel like I have a fraction of clarity into who God is.
blabber, blabber, blabber. bottomline: i believe something different every other day. sigh.