david bazan's new album hits incredibly close to home. he beautifully articulates my insides, and it blows my mind while i listen to 'hard to be' and 'curse your branches' on repeat. maybe because of bazan's new album constantly playing in my household, but there has been alot of religious/post-christian conversation going on amongst my friends. ive shoved these conversations both out loud and in my head as far away as possible for some time now, having felt drained from a year of empty seeking. i think it has been a good thing for me to view these again.
july was a month of self-evaluation and these last few weeks have been refreshing and intentional. my job is decent and im meeting new people. i cant say that im anywhere near a state of mind where i can confidently say that i am okay being alone. but i am really trying and learning alot about who i am. people said that would happen.
my house is always full of people and i love it. our sunflowers continue to grow and grow and grow. cheyenne continues to shit and pee on our carpet. i continue to smoke way too much. growing growing growingggggggggggg. its hard but i guess thats usually how growing feels.